You Always Get What You Want
by TVObssessedGirl28
Summary: Spoilers for the upcoming storyline involving Cal, Alicia and Ethan. How will the brothers cope when another thing causes to drive them apart? The first since Emilie died.
1. Chapter 1

He never meant to hurt his brother. Not again. He knows he's already hurt him too many times. Too many times that he would like to forget. Well, not forget exactly. He just wishes he'd never hurt his brother in the past. Should never have ignored what his brother had told him. Everything was going so well for them. Ever since their birth mother had passed away their relationship had been on the right track. They were closer than they had ever been. Not only had their mother's death brought them close together but the discovery that his brother, his little brother had inherited Huntington's had made them cherish the moments they had together. They made sure that when they did have the occasional disagreements apologies were said and there weren't bad words left between , now he knows he's hurt his brother again. He feels guilty once more and blames himself for never learning from his mistakes. He can still picture the look on his brother's face the moment he caught them. He can also still hear the words that were exchanged in the heat of the moment. More precisely his words. Words he never meant to say. Words that cut through both of them like knives. The lump in his throat returns as he hears himself tell his brother that he wishes his disease would appear now. That it took control over his brother's body. He hears himself yell at his brother that he won't have to deal with him since he'll be in a care home. He hears himself say he'll be glad when the disease wins and his brother's dead. Hot tears roll down his cheeks as the words echo in his mind and come back to haunt him. His stomach tightens as he closes his eyes and sees the words 'his brother's dead' across his mind. His heart is heavy as he imagines his life without his brother. He imagines his words coming true and the guilt he would feel. It would be his fault his brother died. He just hoped his words didn't come true. He would never forgive himself if anything happened to his brother. Would never forgive himself to know that the last words he had said to him were that he wished he was dead. His mind then turns to what his brother had said to him. He can hear his brother yell at him. Calling him selfish, telling him he's always thought about himself. Telling him he's never cared about anyone in his life. Shouting he's always gotten what he's wanted. He doesn't deny what his brother is saying. It's true. He's always gotten what he's wanted and has done ever since they were kids. And while as kids he had enjoyed getting what he wanted over what his brother wanted, it had gone too far this time. This time, time was precious. And time was something his brother didn't have much of. Won't have much of when his symptoms. His brother deserves to be happy and he is not about to ruin it for him. In a way, he's jealous of his brother because, this time ,it's him who's been lucky with women when it's normally the other way round. He's also jealous that his brother has found someone who actually cares and not someone who reminds him of Taylor.

Cal closes his eyes again as he thinks about everything that he and Ethan had been through over the past couple of years. Their brotherly relationship has been tested so many times. Mostly because of him. Mostly of what he'd done to his brother. The first time he'd tested his relationship with Ethan since their adoptive mother had passed away, was when he stole the money. The money his brother had worked so hard for. Then almost losing Ethan in the car crash that killed Jeff. Losing Matilda and finding out they were adopted. Followed by Ethan discovering Cal had lied to him. And finally, the two of them losing Emilie, their birth mum. Though, the biggest shock of all, the one that would test how close their brotherly bond was, was the devastating news that Ethan had inherited the gene. Yet, somehow through all the strife the two of them managed to pull through. They managed to show that their brotherly bond could withstand anything life throws at them. Even when the news that Ethan would develop Huntington's was still sinking in and Cal overheard his brother say to Lily that he wished Cal had inherited the gene instead, their brotherly love never faltered. Cal knew Ethan never meant to say what he said. He was just upset and scared, just like Cal was. From then on, Cal promised he would be there for him whenever he needed him. However, it looks like the promise he made to his brother has been broken once again. Cal realizes he's tested his relationship with his brother too far this time and he's crossed the line. A line he doesn't think that can be mended, but one he hopes he can.

It's been a couple of hours since Cal had last seen his brother. In fact, the last time he had seen Ethan was the moment Ethan had found him and Alicia together. Since then, Cal had heard nothing from either Ethan or Alicia. While he cared about both of them, right now he was more worried about Ethan and the fact that he hadn't been in contact with him. He understands that Ethan doesn't want to talk to him, but Cal desperately wants to make things right between them. He wants to apologize to him for saying he wished he was dead. He wants to tell his brother how much he means to him and he would never want anything to happen to him. Cal knows he's never exactly been the best brother in the world but, he wants to make up for it while there's still time left. Something Charlie said to him comes flooding back. The words 'be his big brother' repeats in his mind and Cal decides it's time for him to act on those words and be the big brother he should have been. Dialing Ethan's number he hopes his brother picks up, but he is soon through to voicemail.

"Hi, Ethan. It's me. Well, of course you know it's me because you're not picking up. Anyway, we need to talk. I need to talk. So can you please ring be back when you get this message?" Cal then hangs up the phone.


	2. Chapter 2

A beep is heard. But, Ethan doesn't want to see who it is. He knows it's Cal. He feels a bubble of anger creeping up on him as he pictures what he's just seen. How can Cal be so selfish? He knows Ethan has a crush on Alicia and just when he's found someone he's like, Cal has to go and ruin it all for. Just like he always does. Why can't for once Cal be happy for him, instead of stealing from him again?

Ethan hears his phone ringing and again he ignores it. He doesn't have time to hear his brother's excuses, he's heard them all before. This time, it won't make any difference. Ethan knows all Cal will do is apologize and carry on as if nothing has happened. He'll go back to his usual self. Ethan shouldn't be surprised at his brother, after all, this is what usually happens. But, then again ever since Emilie died Ethan really thought Cal had changed. He really believed that his brother was a different person, someone who didn't always put himself first before others especially those he cared about. And now, Ethan questions whether his brother actually meant what he said to him all those years ago when he was involved in the car crash, did he really meant what he said when Ethan found out that he lied to him? A part of him wants to believe Cal did mean what he said, though at the same time Ethan knows his brother. He knows he'll always be the one who has to pick up the pieces. He knows Cal will always be the one who never admits his mistakes.

Another wave of anger washes over Ethan. H throws his phone to the other side of the room as he buckles to his knees. Tears fall down his cheeks as he thinks about all the times Cal has made promises, only to have broken them afterwards. He breaks down as he remembers Cal promising from now on he'll be there for him when he needs him to be. Ethan shakes his head sadly."Why can't he just be the big brother he is?" Ethan whispers to himself. "Why can't he be my big brother?"

"Why can't he just be the big brother he is?" Ethan whispers to himself. "Why can't he be my big brother?"

Ethan is busy lost in his thoughts that he doesn't hear the door to the staff room open. He then feels someone come down to his level and sit beside him. Ethan doesn't need to look up to know who it is. For a few moments, the two of them just sit in silence, not speaking to one another but, the silence in the air speaks more words than they can say at the moment. The tension in the air is palpable, making Cal feel uncomfortable. He shifts into a more comfortable position before cautiously placing a hand on Ethan's arms. But, as he thought, Ethan flinches away. Cal sighs.

"Please, Ethan, we need to talk." Cal says as he breaks the silence.

"We need to talk?" Ethan scoffs.

"Okay, I need to talk."

"I know you do, but I don't want to listen."

"Please, Eth." Cal begs. "I'm sorry."

"I've heard your excuses a thousand times, Cal. I don't want to hear them again."

"Look, I know you're angry, upset even. But, can't we just sort this out like adults for once?"

Ethan looks at him in disbelief.

"Since when were you an adult?"

"We never meant to hurt you, I never meant to hurt you."

Ethan shakes his heads and stands up.

"I'm fed up of hearing the same excuse over and over again. Why can't for once you be happy for me? Why do you always have to steal from me?"

"I am happy for you. Was happy for you. But, these things just happen. We wanted to tell you, we really did."

"So why didn't you?"

"We didn't know when the right time was."

"Like you didn't know when the right time was when you lied to me about mum?" Ethan said forcefully.

"That was different."

"How was it different? You lied to me then and you've lied to me now."

Cal is about to say something back when Ethan interrupts him.

"I don't want to hear it, Cal. You always get what you want. Always. This is no different. I just hope you two are happy together. I mean I wouldn't want it to end like it did with Taylor and you."

The last words hits home for Cal and Ethan sees the hurt flash across his brother's eyes. Although he regrets saying what he did, Ethan doesn't show it. All he wants is Cal to know what it feels like to be hurt by his own brother. With that Ethan leaves Cal sitting on the floor. Sighing deeply, Cal leans his head agaisnt the wall. Why does he always have to be the one to mess things up with his brother? Why can't he be the one to make things right for once? Well, he did just tried to sort things out, but look how that went. Cal admits that his brother has got a point. He does always gets what he wants. And always does at the cost of his brother. He knows he has to get Ethan to see that he means what he says. He is sorry about what he's done and has done to him in the past. He stands up himself and goes off to find Ethan. This time determined to make him listen to him and to make him understand that he is sorry. Cal knows he takes his brother for granted but, he hopes that since their mum died he can show Ethan he doesn't take him for granted any more. And will never take him for granted. They've been closer than ever before and Cal's not about to risk losing Ethan again. He's not about to let this situation break his closeness with his brother.


	3. Chapter 3

Unfortunately, Ethan wasn't in the hospital. So Cal was about head home when Noel stopped him at reception and handed him a piece of paper. Quickly he opened it up.

 _Cal,_

 _I feel as if it's better if I wrote this rather than say it to you in person._

 _Firstly, I wanted to apologize. It's funny isn't it, how it's me apologizing? I mean it's not me who should be apologizing in the first place. Then again I shouldn't be surprised. I'm always the one compromising, always the one letting you get what you want. But, I was out of order earlier on. What I said to you about your relationship with Taylor was uncalled for._

 _Anyway, I understand you're sorry and I want to believe you, I really do but, I can't. It doesn't matter to you. It doesn't matter that you've hurt me. I am, after all, just your little brother. A little brother you don't seem to care about. A little brother who's always at the end of your mistakes. A brother you tease to no end despite me telling you to stop. Even though you say you do care about me, that you can't let anything happen to me, that I'm your safety net and I'm all you've got left, I don't believe. You've never given me any reason to believe you._

 _It hurts me that I don't believe you. It hurts me to know that I can't trust you. But, like you've said, we only have each other. You've all I've got left. The only family I've got left. And I just want you to be my big brother. The big brother I know you are. The big brother I've always looked up too._

The weight of Ethan's words makes Cal's heart tighten as he realizes how much of a mess he's made.

"Noel?" Cal asks. "How long ago since Ethan left?"

"Not too long ago. Only 20 minutes." Noel replies.

"Did he say where he was going?"

"No, but I presumed he was heading home. Why? Is something wrong?" Noel inquired, worry creased on his brow.

"Yes," Cal says. "Something is wrong."

Before Noel can inquire anything further Cal walks away from reception and heads straight to his car. As he expects when he enters the flat Ethan isn't there. Worried that Ethan is going to do something stupid, Cal tries calling him. Once again he is straight through to voicemail. This time, he doesn't leave a message. Running a hand through his hair, Cal tries to rack his brain for any detail about where Ethan may be. In the letter, he hadn't spotted any clues indicating his brother's whereabouts. So that would be no help to him. So he carries on trying to think. As Cal scans the room his eyes land on something that resonates within him. Walking out of the flat and getting into his car once more, he drives off.

Arriving at his destination, Cal should have known this is where Ethan would be. This was the place where their lives changed forever. The place where Ethan's life changed forever. This is where it all began and in a way ended. Cal chuckles half-heartedly as he is reminded that even then he was the one who made a mess of things. If he hadn't been so adamant about the paternity of Matilda they wouldn't have found out about their adoption. Nor would they have found Emilie and the discovery that one of them had inherited the gene. In a way, Cal thought, it was Taylor's fault. For if she'd never appeared none of this would have happened. However, in a way Cal's glad it did happen. He's glad he got to meet Matilda and be a dad to her while he could. He's glad he found out that both he and Ethan were adopted. He's even more glad to find out that he and Ethan are still brothers. He's also glad in a weird sense that they'd discovered that one of them had the gene. Even if he wishes it was him instead of Ethan. Because in a way, he's happy that he can have that brotherly bond with his brother. The brotherly bond they should have had all those years ago. One where they can both be the brothers they are. Cal just feels guilty that it had to be all the bad things to happen to Ethan for him to realise how much Ethan means to him. How much Ethan needs him and has needed him. Cal has never known what it's been like to be the one to pick up the pieces left behind. He's never been the one who's had to be strong when inside you're scared. But, now he nows. He knows what it's like to be scared. He knows what's it like to see your whole world tumble down around. As Cal watches his brother stand there, leaning against the railing and looking out across the sea, he finally sees the walls Ethan has had to put up around him. He sees the strength Ethan's had to have. And he finally sees Ethan as his brother who needs to be looked out for too. He finally sees him as his little brother who for once would like his big brother to be there for him instead of the other way round. Cal quickly wipes a lone tear away from his eye before slowly walking down to the water front where Ethan stood.


	4. Chapter 4

"Go away, Cal." Ethan says.

Cal walks up to him and stands next to him.

"No. You can push me away as much as you want but, I'm not going anywhere. Even if you're not going to listen I'm still going to talk."

Ethan sighs. He's about to walk away again when he feels Cal grab him by the shoulder. Ethan turns to face him angrily.

"Don't touch me!"

Cal lets go of his shoulders and puts his hands.

"Okay, I won't touch. But, will you just listen to me for one minute?"

Reluctantly Ethan remains where he is. Seeing this is all he's going to get, Cal begins to speak.

"I read your letter. And everything you said is true. I know I've never given you any reason for you to believe me that I care about you. I know my words have never had any substance to them. But, the truth is, I meant everything I said. When you were involved in the car crash I almost lost you and that scared me more than anything else in the world. It scared me to know that the last thing I did was tease you about your stammer. And that's not what I want to happen. I don't want my last words to you to be those of teasing. I want my last words to be how much I love you. You are, as you rightly said in your letter, my little brother. And it's high time I took being a big brother seriously."

When Cal finishes his short speech he expects Ethan to say something back. He doesn't. All Cal is met with is silence. A Silence that unnerves him. He waits a bit longer hoping Ethan is going to say something, anything. Again Cal hears no words come out. Instead, Ethan just stands there, looking at him. His expression not giving anything a way. Realizing Ethan is not going to say anything or move Cal cautiously closes the gap between him and his brother by bringing Ethan into a warm embrace. For a minute or two Ethan stands stiff, his arms remaining by his side. Eventually, Cal feels his brother wrap his own arms around his waist. As the two of them stand in their hold, Cal thinks all is well until he feels his brother go limp in his arms.

 **Note: Sorry for such a short chapter but, I thought I would leave it as a cliffhanger and work out how to carry on from here. I have a few ideas as to why Ethan has gone limp in Cal's arms but need to figure out which works better for them. One idea is to bring the Huntington's diagnosis into the storyline, but who knows?**

 **Until then...**


	5. Chapter 5

Panic washes over Cal as he feels the weight of his brother on his chest. He staggers backwards but manages to keep hold of Ethan. Carefully, hen turns Ethan on his backs. Once he's got Ethan on his back, Cal notices his eyes are closed and his breathing is shallow. He tries shaking his brother by the shoulder, hoping he'll regain consciousness. Ethan, however, does not open his eyes. Placing two fingers against his neck, Cal feels a pulse. It's there but, quite faint. He wonders what's happened to his brother for him to go all limp. Although he's worried about the cause of Ethan's collapse, Cal doesn't waste time. He dials 999 and calls for an ambulance. Within minutes Cal hears the familiar sounds of sirens wailing coming closer. Out of the ambulance jump Jez and Iain. The two paramedics are a bit surprised when the spot Cal with an unconscious Ethan in his arms.

"Cal?" Iain asks as he and Jez ran over. "What's happened?"

Cal shakes his head.

"I don't know. One minute he was fine, the next he's collapsed into my arms."

"Okay, well we'll put him on the stretcher and get him into the back of the ambulance. We'll check his vitals when we're in there." Iain told him.

While Jez runs back to get a trolley, Iain places an oxygen mask over Ethan's face. As his two colleagues lift Ethan onto the trolley and roll him into the back of the ambulance, something falls out of Ethan's coat pocket. Kneeling down, Cal sees it a bottle of paracetamol. To his shock, Cal notices it's empty. Worried that Ethan had overdosed on those, he rushes to the ambulance.

"Iain, I think Ethan's overdosed on paracetamol." Cal told him.

Iain looks at the bottle in Cal's hand.

"Are you sure?"

"No, I'm not sure. But, why else would he have an empty bottle in his pocket?"

Upon arriving at the ED, the three of them are met by Elle, Charlie and Robyn. While the two paramedics, Elle and Robyn wheel Ethan through to Resus Charlie remains by Cal.

"What happened?" Charlie asks concerned for his friend.

"I think Ethan may have tried to kill himself." Cal says in a whisper.

"He wouldn't be that stupid to do that." Charlie says.

"I don't know what to think."

Walking towards Resus, Cal hears Elle ordering the usual tests. He hears say she wants full LFTs, FBCs, a glucose count and U & Es. Anxiously, Cal waits behind the doors, running a hand through his hair.

"He'll be fine." Charlie reassures him.

"I hope so."

Cal then sees Elle walk towards him. The door opens and Elle appears.

"How is he?" Cal inquirs.

"He's stable." Elle replies.

"And do we know what caused him to collapse?" Charlie aks while Cal looked over towards his brother.

"At this moment in time, I'm afraid we don't."

Cal looked towards Elle.

"So it wasn't the paracetamol?" Cal asks, now even more worried.

"No, it wasn't the paracetamol. I've ordered some more tests and until we see what the results show, we won't know what's caused him to be in the condition he's in. But, like I said before, he's stable."

"Can I go in and see him?"

"Well, Ethan's about to be moved to a side room where he can have some privacy but, I'm sure you'll be able to stay with him." Elle tells him.

As Ethan is moved into a side room Cal walks beside him, holding his hand tightly in his. Once in the room, Elle and Charlie gives the two brothers some time alone. Cal doesn't know how long he's been there but, he soon feels himself being shaken awake. He slowly looks up and sees Charlie. Giving him a warm smile, Charlie hands him a cup of coffee.

"Thanks." Cal says.

"How's Ethan?"

"He's doing okay."

"And how are you?"

"Yeah, I'm fine."

Suddenly Cal says something to Charlie that throws him off guard a bit.

"You don't think this has anything to do with the Huntington's?"

"I'm sure it doesn't have anything to do with that. Collapsing like he did is not a symptom of Huntington's. I'm sure it's nothing to worry about."

"Then what's caused him to collapse?"

"I don't know." Charlie admitted. "But, we'll find out soon."


	6. Chapter 6

Cal remains by Ethan's side until the next morning. When he wakes up, Cal glances towards the bed. Ethan still hasn't woken and in his current condition, Cal is naturally worried. He hopes to hear answers soon as why Ethan collapsed. The door opens and Elle steps in.

"So?" Cal asks as he pushes his chair backwards. "What's did the results show?"

"They're inconclusive. We'll run a few more but, it looks like we are still in the dark."

"Is he likely to wake up soon though?"

"Oh, yes." Elle replies.

With that Elle leaves the room. Cal then turns back to his brother and takes hold of his hand.

"You hear that, Nibbles? Elle said you'll be waking up soon. That's good, isn't it?" Cal tells him.

As if Ethan had heard him, his eyes begin to flicker slightly. Cal notices the movement in Ethan's eyes.

"Eth?" He says out loud, standing up. "Ethan?"

After a few seconds of waiting to see if there was any other moment, Cal sees Ethan is awake. At first, Ethan darts his eyes back and forth, a bit agitated. But, once he spots Cal beside him he begins to calm down.

"Cal?" Ethan asks groggily. "What happened?"

"You don't remember?" Cal asks, worryingly.

"Not really."

"Well, what do you remember?"

"I remember standing on the waterfront. Then I remember you coming and telling me how much I mean to you. But, then it's all a blur."

"You collapsed into my arms."

"Collapsed? What from?" Ethan asks, still a bit confused.

"Eth," Cal starts to say buts hesitates.

Ethan acknowledges his hesitation and looks at him.

"What is it?" he inquires.

"Did you take any paracetamol at all?" Cal asks him.

"Why would I take paracetamol?"

"I, uh, found an empty bottle of paracetamol when we got you on the stretcher. It fell out of your pocket. When I saw it, I panicked. I was scared that you had tried to kill yourself."

"Kill myself? I didn't try to kill myself. At least I don't think I did."

"You don't remember taking the pills?"

Ethan shakes his head. Suddenly, the monitors register an increase in his heart rate. Cal notices Ethan's vital signs are increasing too. Soon loud noises fill the room and the bed begins to rattle.

"It's okay, Ethan." Cal says as he tries to hold his brother's head. "You're going to be okay."

But, Ethan does not stop fitting. He carries on for a few good minutes until Cal presses the emergency button and in come Elle along with Charlie and Robyn.

"What happened?" Elle inquires as she takes over from Cal.

"We were only talking. I was asking him if he took any paracetamol. And he said he didn't remember taking any. Then he just started fitting." Cal explains.

"Right, can we administer 5 mg of diazepam." Elle instructs.

With the medication injected into Ethan, the seizure begins to slow until Ethan stops shaking. The machines begin to register a normal heart rate and SATs. Elle took a stethoscope into her ears and checked Ethan's breathing. Once she's happy with everything, she walks over to Cal and takes him by the arm.

"We will need to run a CT scan. But, for now he's seems to be stable."

"Do you have any idea about what's caused his seizure?" Cal asks, the worry not going away completely.

Elle sadly shakes her head. She then leaves the room.

"Please, just get better, Nibbles." Cal whispers as he holds his hand.

Once again Cal remains by his brother's side not wanting to leave him alone in case he takes a turn for the worse. While sitting in the chair he sees Elle and Charlie approach the room, but notice they don't enter the room. Instead, they remain outside the door talking in hushed tones. Cal gets up from his seat and opens the door. Immediately, Elle and Charlie stop mid sentence.

"What is it?" Cal asks, his heart thumping quite hard against his chest.

"Cal," Elle starts to say.

"No, don't hide any detail away from me. Just tell me everything." Cal tells her.

"Well, the CT scan results have come back and they have indicated that there is a small bleed on Ethan's brain. It would seem he's suffered a head injury."

"A head injury?" Cal questions. "How? He couldn't have sustained a head injury when he collapsed because I caught him. And he didn't present a head injury when I found him by the waterfront."

Elle nods her head in understanding.

"Could he have injured his head in any other way?" she inquires.

Cal shakes his head.

"Not that I know of."

"Cal?" Ethan's voice floats through the door. "Cal, where are you?"


End file.
